Today we are writing on stages of marriage in Nkpa Bende LGA of Abia State Nigeria.
According to our source Mr. Sunday Ezeala( 67 years old man), Bende is Town of 13 villages namely; Amaediada Nkpa, Amaediuku Nkpa, Amaokpu Nkpa, Nkpokpa, Amaohoro, Eluama, Agbaiyi, Umuede, Umuewu, Ugwu, Obilaji, Okpobia and Odua with the toatal population of about 3 million. Nkpa is predominantely farmers and local trders. The prople of cultivate yam, cassava, coco yam for commercial and personal consumption.
Once a choice of mate has been made, the first stage is visitation. Here the groom and his father, relations and witnes will visit the bride parents with 3 kolanuts and1 hot drink. This type of visit is called Iku - aka in Igbo language or knocking in English language. The aim of this visit is for the groom to declare his intention to marry the bride in the presence of the invited guest and to know whether the bride's parents approve his intention or not. If the bride parents approve his intention, a list of items for the subsequte visit will be given to the groom parents.
In second visitation which is known as the "kindred's wine", the groom parents will come with 2 cartons of beer, 2 crates of mineral and malt, 5 kolanuts, 1 hot drink and 2 kegs of palm wine to see the bride kindred. The aim of this visit is for the groom and his parents, relations and witnes officially inform the bride's kinsmen that he wants to marry their daughter.
The final stage is payment of the bride price. Before the day of the bride price payment, the groom will buy goats, 1 bag of rice (which the bride's parents will cook for the inlaws and the invited guest) and cloth for the father and mother of the bride. On the day of the bride price payment, the invited guest from different locations, life band or local dance or DJ/MC will be present to grace the occasion.
Also seats and canopies will be set for the guest and the inlaws depending on the place for the occasion. On the day of the occasion aslo, the groom parents will come with 1 okporoko, 1 packet of ciga, 1 bottle of jet snuff, 12 kegs of palm wine, 5 crates of malt, 4 crates of mineral, 10 cartons of beer, 1 head snuff(US type) and 1 big akawu. In addition to that the groom parents will come with N10, 000 depending on the family(Ten thousand Naira), which is the bride price. After presenting the afformationed items, the bride's father will took N1000 as( One thousand Naira) as the bride price and give the groom N9000(Nine thousand Naira) back and tell him to use it and feed his daughter(the groom father can take the whole money if he likes, but to prove to the groom that they are not selling their daughter to him, the brides father normally take N1000). After presentation of the bought items and paying of the bride price, the bride's father will give th bride a cup of wine and tell her to search and present her husband to all the invited guest. After that, the groom and bride will dance. After dancing and eating, the groom will go with the bride and start living with her. This stage is also regarded as traditional marriage according to the source.
Once you have done the above stages, traditionally you have married, is now left for the groom to fix venue and date for their church/court wedding, if he likes.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
STAGES OF MARRIAGE IN UGO - IHEAKA IN NSUKKA
Welcome to stages of marriage in some Nigeria Community site, a site that’s designed to give you information on stages of marriage in some Nigeria community.
WHAT IS MARRIAGE? For a better understanding of the topic, let’s in a nutshell defined what marriage is all about. Marriage is a legal union between man and women. It is an exclusive sexual access to each other and a legal right to form a family of procreation. A child born outside marriage is considered illegitimate. In Igbo society the man responsible for a pregnancy has no claims on the child as long as he did not fulfill the marriage rites before the child was born. To overcome his identity problem, the father of the woman will adopt the child as one of their Sister to enable the child has the right of inheritance. This practice varies from one ethnic group to another. Example: In the Benin – Delta area of Nigeria the child belong to the man who was responsible for the pregnancy.
WHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR MARRIAGE?
The following are the reason for a couple to enter into marriage after some period of courtship;
1. To legitimize the children
2. Legitimization of sex
3. Love
4. Conformity
5. Companionship
FORMS OF MARRIAGE.
1. Monogamy: marriage of one man to one woman at any given time.
2. Polygamy: marriage of multiple spouses and it is sub – divided into two a) Polygyny: marriage of one man to two or more woman. This is very common among Muslims and the African tradition religion. B) Polyandry: marriage of one woman to many men at the same time.
3. Ghost marriage: when the only son of a family dies without being married, the family may decide to marry a wife on his behalf. The child belong to the deceased man.
4. Levirate marriage: marriage of a widow to the brother of the deceased husband. Children belong to the dead man and bear his name.
5. Sororate marriage: when the wife of a man dies and the man marries the sister of the dead wife.
Since we have succeeded in giving definition of marriage, reason for marriage and forms of marriage, let’s narrow our write ups to the stages of marriage in some Nigeria community, which is the area of concentration of this site.
STAGES OF MARRIAGE IN UGO – IHEAKA IN NSUKKA, IGBOEZE SOUTH LGA OF ENUGU STATE NIGERIA
Ugo – Iheaka is a town of about one million in population with five hamlets namely; Amero Ugo, Umuole Ugo, Amegu Uwenu Ugo, Amegu Uwani and Nkpuru ugo. The town is predominately local traders and Government workers.
According to the source Mr. Jonas Asogwa, there is quite a long process before marriage of the couple could be consummated traditionally in the traditional system in Enugu State of Nigeria. Traditionally intending couple are not allowed to meet each other on their own. Whenever they meet it must be under close supervision of the older woman. This was to ensure chastity till the marriage is consummated. Marriage process was meant of be the business of both parents and the elders. During the intricate negotiations the couple may be seen but not heard except at the critical moment when the elders, as a matter of routine would want to hear from the bride, if she really wanted to marry the groom.
The first step, after a choice of mate has been agreed by the groom family, involves an elder from the groom’s family, the groom and another elder who is well known to both families paying a visit to the bride’s family with 2 kegs of palm wine, and some kolanuts. This visit is known as ‘Iku – Aka’ or Iju – Ase’ in Igbo language which translates to knocking or fact – finding. The objective of the visit is to declare their intention and find out if someone else has already set a marriage process in motion regarding this particular girl. If nobody had earlier declared any such intentions, the groom’s emissaries are given the green light with the list of items to buy to proceed with further arrangement. But if other person has already initiated the marriage process in respect of the girl in question, further visits are discontinued and the search of a choice of mate continues.
The second step is negotiation of bride price; here the groom parents with his relations and some friends will go to the bride’s house with 14 kegs of palm wine, 4 big kolanuts, 2 cartons of beer, 1 crate of malt, 1 crate of mineral with a pause of N10,000 or N20,000 which is the bride price depending on the bride’s qualification. In addition to this, the groom father will present N1,900 to the bride’s father to share among the grand fathers of the bride. After the bride price has been fully paid, her father will give her wine to search for her husband and show him to everybody present and to prove that the couple is traditionally husband and wife. It is also to prove to the witness that they agreed to marry each other without force or pressure from both parents.
The final stage is traditional marriage proper. Before the date for the traditional marriage, the groom parents and his relations will give the bride’s parents money for food and other necessary things such as cloths. On the day of the traditional marriage, people invited will come and the groom parents will come with 70 kegs of palm wine, 3 cartons of beer, 2 crates of mineral, 2 crates of malt and 4 big kolanuts. When the groom parents arrived, the bride father will go and welcome them with 2kegs of palm wine, kolanuts, some bottles of beer, mineral and malt, before the groom parents present the items they bought one by one for confirmation. If the item is complete, prayer for breaking of kolanuts will then be said by the father of the bride and groom. After that, the bride will come with her friends to welcome her in laws. After, welcoming the groom parents, the bride will sit down and join the groom and his parents and relations to eat because they cannot eat without her presence. After that, the bride will stand up at the presence of the invited guest, the father of the bride will handover the bride to the witness and the witness will then handover the bride to the groom father. After that, the bride father will present the gift they bought for the bride and tell the groom that he should feed her well, he should not beat her etc and the bride will pack her things and go with her husband at the end of the occasion.
Once the groom has done the aforementioned stages, he has traditionally married, is now left for him to prepare for church or court wedding as he wishes.
WHAT IS MARRIAGE? For a better understanding of the topic, let’s in a nutshell defined what marriage is all about. Marriage is a legal union between man and women. It is an exclusive sexual access to each other and a legal right to form a family of procreation. A child born outside marriage is considered illegitimate. In Igbo society the man responsible for a pregnancy has no claims on the child as long as he did not fulfill the marriage rites before the child was born. To overcome his identity problem, the father of the woman will adopt the child as one of their Sister to enable the child has the right of inheritance. This practice varies from one ethnic group to another. Example: In the Benin – Delta area of Nigeria the child belong to the man who was responsible for the pregnancy.
WHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR MARRIAGE?
The following are the reason for a couple to enter into marriage after some period of courtship;
1. To legitimize the children
2. Legitimization of sex
3. Love
4. Conformity
5. Companionship
FORMS OF MARRIAGE.
1. Monogamy: marriage of one man to one woman at any given time.
2. Polygamy: marriage of multiple spouses and it is sub – divided into two a) Polygyny: marriage of one man to two or more woman. This is very common among Muslims and the African tradition religion. B) Polyandry: marriage of one woman to many men at the same time.
3. Ghost marriage: when the only son of a family dies without being married, the family may decide to marry a wife on his behalf. The child belong to the deceased man.
4. Levirate marriage: marriage of a widow to the brother of the deceased husband. Children belong to the dead man and bear his name.
5. Sororate marriage: when the wife of a man dies and the man marries the sister of the dead wife.
Since we have succeeded in giving definition of marriage, reason for marriage and forms of marriage, let’s narrow our write ups to the stages of marriage in some Nigeria community, which is the area of concentration of this site.
STAGES OF MARRIAGE IN UGO – IHEAKA IN NSUKKA, IGBOEZE SOUTH LGA OF ENUGU STATE NIGERIA
Ugo – Iheaka is a town of about one million in population with five hamlets namely; Amero Ugo, Umuole Ugo, Amegu Uwenu Ugo, Amegu Uwani and Nkpuru ugo. The town is predominately local traders and Government workers.
According to the source Mr. Jonas Asogwa, there is quite a long process before marriage of the couple could be consummated traditionally in the traditional system in Enugu State of Nigeria. Traditionally intending couple are not allowed to meet each other on their own. Whenever they meet it must be under close supervision of the older woman. This was to ensure chastity till the marriage is consummated. Marriage process was meant of be the business of both parents and the elders. During the intricate negotiations the couple may be seen but not heard except at the critical moment when the elders, as a matter of routine would want to hear from the bride, if she really wanted to marry the groom.
The first step, after a choice of mate has been agreed by the groom family, involves an elder from the groom’s family, the groom and another elder who is well known to both families paying a visit to the bride’s family with 2 kegs of palm wine, and some kolanuts. This visit is known as ‘Iku – Aka’ or Iju – Ase’ in Igbo language which translates to knocking or fact – finding. The objective of the visit is to declare their intention and find out if someone else has already set a marriage process in motion regarding this particular girl. If nobody had earlier declared any such intentions, the groom’s emissaries are given the green light with the list of items to buy to proceed with further arrangement. But if other person has already initiated the marriage process in respect of the girl in question, further visits are discontinued and the search of a choice of mate continues.
The second step is negotiation of bride price; here the groom parents with his relations and some friends will go to the bride’s house with 14 kegs of palm wine, 4 big kolanuts, 2 cartons of beer, 1 crate of malt, 1 crate of mineral with a pause of N10,000 or N20,000 which is the bride price depending on the bride’s qualification. In addition to this, the groom father will present N1,900 to the bride’s father to share among the grand fathers of the bride. After the bride price has been fully paid, her father will give her wine to search for her husband and show him to everybody present and to prove that the couple is traditionally husband and wife. It is also to prove to the witness that they agreed to marry each other without force or pressure from both parents.
The final stage is traditional marriage proper. Before the date for the traditional marriage, the groom parents and his relations will give the bride’s parents money for food and other necessary things such as cloths. On the day of the traditional marriage, people invited will come and the groom parents will come with 70 kegs of palm wine, 3 cartons of beer, 2 crates of mineral, 2 crates of malt and 4 big kolanuts. When the groom parents arrived, the bride father will go and welcome them with 2kegs of palm wine, kolanuts, some bottles of beer, mineral and malt, before the groom parents present the items they bought one by one for confirmation. If the item is complete, prayer for breaking of kolanuts will then be said by the father of the bride and groom. After that, the bride will come with her friends to welcome her in laws. After, welcoming the groom parents, the bride will sit down and join the groom and his parents and relations to eat because they cannot eat without her presence. After that, the bride will stand up at the presence of the invited guest, the father of the bride will handover the bride to the witness and the witness will then handover the bride to the groom father. After that, the bride father will present the gift they bought for the bride and tell the groom that he should feed her well, he should not beat her etc and the bride will pack her things and go with her husband at the end of the occasion.
Once the groom has done the aforementioned stages, he has traditionally married, is now left for him to prepare for church or court wedding as he wishes.
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